Ramones

So it’s 1974. High school buddies Jeffrey Hyman, John Cummings, Douglas Colvin and Tom Erdelyi are sitting there in Queens, eating refried beans. They’re listening to WABC play “Bennie and the Jets,” “Tin Man,” and “Seasons in the Sun.” Jeffrey says, “Hey, man, that don’t move me. We’ve got leather jackets. We know two or three chords. Let’s get real, real gone for a change. Let’s all change our names to Ramone. McCartney used to call himself Phil Ramone back when he was in the Silver Beatles, O.K.?” And Jeffrey becomes Joey Ramone, John becomes Johnny Ramone, Douglas becomes Dee Dee Ramone and Tom becomes Tommy Ramone. The Ramones play their first show March 30, 1974, at NYC’s Performance Studio. They have eight or nine songs. They play for 20 minutes. Nobody’d ever heard anything like it. It’s faster than a souped-up Chevy, more powerful than Clark Kent on crack. It makes people want to jump up and down. It makes people forget WABC. Punk rock is born.

It’s 1976. Bicentennial fever is being roundly ignored across the USA. The Ramones spend a little over $6,000 recording their self-titled debut album. “1-2-3-4,” Johnny seems to shout before every song: “Blitzkrieg Bop,” “Beat on the Brat,” “Judy Is a Punk,” “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue.” It blasts the cobwebs off your brain. Enlightened critics go gaga (“I love this record—love it,” gushes Robert Christgau). It hits #111 on the Pop Album charts. On July 4 (take that, Alexander Hamilton!), the Ramones play their first gig in England. Within weeks, John Lydon has become Johnny Rotten and John Mellor has become Joe Strummer. In spring, 1977, the Ramones’ second album, Leave Home, peaks at #48 on the U.K. charts. “Sheena Is a Punk Rocker” is a Top 40 hit. Nothing will ever be the same in Jolly Old England.

Back home, Rocket to Russia, the band’s third, is a Top 50 hit. Tommy leaves the band to be their producer full-time. Marc Bell signs on as Marky Ramone. Road to Ruin follows in 1978. Next year the Ramones star, as themselves, in the Roger Corman flick Rock ‘N Roll High School. In 1980, all this noise awakens legendary producer Phil Spector. He helms the boards for End of the Century. “Hey,” the band thinks, “Maybe we can make this thing a career.”

It’s the ‘80s. Pleasant Dreams (1981); Subterranean Jungle (1983); Marky leaves, is replaced by Richie Ramone (Richard Beau); Too Tough to Die (1984); Animal Boy (1986); Halfway to Sanity (1987); Richie leaves and Marky comes back; Brain Drain (1989); Dee Dee leaves, is replaced by C.J. Ramone (Christopher John Ward); Mondo Bizarro (1992), Acid Eaters (1994). Some inspirational song titles: “The Job That Ate My Brain,” “The KKK Took My Baby Away,” “Somebody Put Something in My Drink,” “My Brain Is Hanging Upside Down (Bonzo Goes to Bitburg),” “Every Time I Eat Vegetables It Makes Me Think of You.” Along with the steady stream of releases, Ramones were incessant live performers through the decade and into the ‘90s.

And then, in 1995, The Ramones released Adios Amigos, did another tour or two (including a featured spot on the 1996 Lollapalooza festival), and said good-bye. Simple as that.

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